I Have Seen the Lord: Thomas

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He looked around the room and couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Had they all gone mad? They were all there at the crucifixion. They were all there when they took his lifeless body down. They all saw what he had seen. Thomas had seen people crucified before, but it had not impacted him in such a powerful way: the one that they had followed, had trusted to change the world, had loved as a friend, crying out his last breath in agony from the cross, stabbed with a spear in the side to make sure he was dead, and then placed into a tomb. And now, as he looked around the room, every one of them insisted that he was alive. It felt like a sick, twisted, cruel joke.

“Prove it,” Thomas told them. Others had fallen prey to scams or charlatans or even practical jokes, but not him. He had always seen the impossible for what it really was. He lived by the motto, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” As he looked around the room, he didn’t understand why they would say something like this. A shared hallucination? Was somebody putting them up to this? “Show me the marks on his hands and side…then I’ll believe.”

 

Ah, the twists and turns of the tale of Thomas! For someone who only gets so little screen time in the book of John, or any of the Gospels for that matter, he sure has had a lot of attention in the last 2,000 years! But not good attention. Actually, preachers like me have been throwing Thomas under the bus for most of those 2,000 years: “Why wasn’t he there that first week? Why didn’t he just believe? Why wasn’t he a better Christian?” We even came up with a name for him: “Doubting Thomas.” There are people who have never heard of this story or this man, who know that phrase, and know that whoever that Thomas guy was in the Bible, he sure was a doubter.

But here is the problem: he wasn’t. I want to begin with a mini-sermon that I might call “How we as the Church have failed Thomas!” And the first failure is that we give Thomas the title of “Doubter” when the Bible doesn’t even say that he was! There are two Greek words for doubting…both connote wavering or hesitating or being of two minds. These words are both used for doubt in the New Testament…but neither are used here in John’s Gospel. The Bible does not call Thomas a doubter, or even use either of the words for doubt. The word instead that is used three different times is some variation of the Greek word “pistos” which translates roughly to “believing.” But the narrative also uses the word “apistos,” as in “not believing.” So when Jesus speaks to Thomas at the end, the Greek technically says, “be not non-believing, but believing.” Or “do not become faithless but faithful.” He is not talking about a present thing—Thomas the Doubter—but the absence of a thing. Of faith or belief. Admittedly, this is an awkward way to say it, but John could have called him a “Doubter” and chose not to.

Maybe you think this is just quibbling with semantics, but look at the bigger picture. If you need more evidence that Thomas is not really a “doubter,” look at the other two phrases that he speaks in the Gospel. The first is actually from earlier, when Jesus told the disciples that Lazarus was dead, and they needed to return to the violent danger of Jerusalem. It is Thomas, in fact, who says matter-of-factly, “Then let us go, so that we might die with him.” Doesn’t sound like a doubter to me. Jesus says it…it’s good enough for me. Which anticipates his words at the end of today’s passage, “My Lord and my God.” Again, this is a proclamation of incredible faith and devotion and belief. He might have had this experience of skepticism, but it doesn’t appear to define him…like we in the Church have used it to define him. So, the next time someone uses that phrase, “Doubting Thomas,” I want you to be that guy…”actually, Thomas wasn’t a doubter at all…let me explain the Greek to you….”

 

But this goes deeper. I think that we have failed not only Thomas, but used this story to fail a whole bunch of other people along the way. The second, perhaps more important question is “If Thomas were a doubter, would that make him a bad Christian?” I would suggest that perhaps the more important failing of the Church is that we have so often equated doubt with unfaithfulness. How many Christians have left the Church in the last 2,000 years, because they had doubts and thought that that meant that the Church had no place for them. If they had doubts, it must mean that they are bad Christians. And if they are bad Christians, this church thing must not be for them. How many people have we shamed out the doors of the Church, because we insisted they leave their doubt at home?

But it was Paul Tillich, the brilliant theologian and preacher, who once said that “Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.” Tillich claimed that when we turn off our minds, and accept a simplistic certainty, we have actually cheapened the faith. The whole point of faith is that we have doubts, or uncertainties, or questions, and we still believe. The untested faith that doesn’t ever have doubts is probably a pretty weak one.

Some of the greatest Christian minds found their way into the faith through doubt. C.S. Lewis was a staunch atheist before he was, in his words, “surprised by joy.” The brilliant scientist and scholar Francis Collins was convinced that science proved that God could not be real, but came to see science as the “biologos,” the way that God speaks to us through life itself. Edith Stein, a German philosopher driven from the faith watching the horrors of the Nazi movement and doubting that God could exist, found herself re-committing to God and becoming a nun, choosing to care for others through her faith. And these aren’t examples of people who doubted, but then quit all that foolishness, and figured it out and got it right. These are people who came to faith because of their doubt. Like Tillich’s quote, they came to understand, through the process of questioning and analyzing and doubting the faith…a deeper and stronger and profound faith at the end. Doubt tests and strengthens our faith. And I think that Thomas was able to walk out of that room stronger because he earned that belief.

So for all of you Enneagram 5 analysts, or you Myers Briggs ISTJ’s out there, or maybe a parent raising a questioner or doubter…don’t let us in the Church tell you we don’t need you. We need that skeptical realism. And don’t let us in the Church tell you that your skepticism or questioning or clarifying is bad for your faith. It is your faith. Doubt is your superpower. It is a profound tool for how you understand the world and the Church, and your doubt can make both better. And in a world where Christians are falling for politicians who use the name Jesus and wave a Bible in their face, we need Thomases to lead us in skepticism…and doubt.

Christian Schwartz, who wrote the book that we have used before titled Three Colors of Ministry about spiritual giftedness, says that some of us start our faith in a place of thoughtful skepticism, a verifying spirit, and even doubt. He describes how much the Church needs Thomases: “We need people like Thomas in our churches, people who are simply not willing to take things for granted. They want to know reasons. They want to see proofs. None of us should criticize them for this, even if it might disturb the peace of majority at times. Rather, all of us would be well-advised to learn from their perspective.”

OK, that ends the mini-sermon. But guess what, I have a second mini-sermon! If the first one was called “Ways we have failed Thomas,” the second sermon might be called “How Jesus didn’t fail Thomas.” Now for two gifts that Jesus gave Thomas.

The first one seems obvious, but perhaps it isn’t. Jesus honored his request. Thomas proclaimed that he needed to see the marks of the crucifixion to believe. To be clear, Jesus could have said, “Too bad.” Right? “You have to believe without this evidence. You don’t get what you want.” But he didn’t. It was a meaningful message that Jesus showed up, ready to honor Thomas’ need to trust, but verify. Sometimes, Jesus gives us what we ask for. Not all the time, and probably not as often as we would like. But there is something to be said to ask for what we need. Again, Jesus would have known Thomas, and known what he really needed. Mary needed to hear her name. The disciples needed to see Jesus. Thomas ALSO needed to see Jesus, even though we give him a hard time and don’t do the same for the guy we call The Doubter. Next week, we will watch Jesus’ encounter with Peter, and see what he needs. Jesus met the need for all of these people, and because he did, they were ready to face the world. How does Jesus give us what we need, when we ask for it? Again, it’s not all of the time. But if we follow the example of the “Faithful Thomas,” then perhaps we get what we ask for in faith, and receive what we need.

 

The second thing is a little more complicated. Jesus gave Thomas two gifts. The first was the gift of presence. The second is what I would call the gift of complexity. When Jesus showed up, he arrived as the resurrected AND crucified Lord. Don’t miss the fact that Jesus could have appeared as Superman, floating above the air, impervious to bullets and evil and death. But he didn’t. He arrived as a crucified body. He still had holes in his body where the nails had been driven. He still had the mark of a spear that had been shoved into his side. Jesus came to the disciples, and to Thomas, as both crucified and resurrected. Scholar Kristin Johnston Largen explains how profound this is:

…this image of a “wounded” resurrected Jesus…suggests that, in the resurrection, God is capable of taking even the worst of human experiences into God’s own arms in such a way that they are transformed, and we are healed and made whole—not only each of us individually but the whole human family, indeed, the whole creation.      

Jesus gave Thomas the gift of complexity. He was both broken and made whole. Just as we are made whole by Jesus, but still carry the scars of our past pain. That was the gift of complication that Jesus gave Thomas. He didn’t reject or belittle or rebuke his aptitude for doubt…but he also worked to bring him to a more complex understanding. Jesus realized he didn’t have to take away one gift…in order to give him another: “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Jesus seemed to invite Thomas to a new way of being. It was as if he was telling him, “Thomas, you have the gift of doubt. Now balance it with the gift of belief. Hold your doubt in one hand, and your belief in the other. You will need both in the days to come.” That’s where that Greek phrase matters. Again, Jesus didn’t tell Thomas “don’t ever doubt.” Instead he said, “don’t be a person stuck in unbelieving. A person incapable of believing. Doubt and believe. You need both of these tools for the mission ahead.”

Remember how we have said that everything that John says in his Gospel is symbolically intentional. When it is dark outside, someone is “in the dark” and not understanding. When Jesus speaks, that voice reflects the creative power of God’s voice at creation. So perhaps it is not unintentional that Thomas is called “The Twin.” He was probably a twin, AND here is a man who has twin powers of doubt and belief. Who can use skepticism and doubt to deepen his belief…and then use belief to proclaim that Jesus is his Lord and his God.

 

He looked around the room and couldn’t believe…all the love saw in the faces around him. Now as an old man, Thomas thought back to all that had happened in the last decades:

• He thought back to that moment that he stepped onto the ship bound for India, farther than he had ever been from home.

• Thomas thought of the people that he had met. Those he had told about Jesus. The ones whose lives he had changed…and the ones who had changed his life.

• He remembered all of those he baptized, from the rich leaders to the poor peasants.

• He thought of the days and nights that he had spent in chains for preaching the good news of Jesus.

• He thought back to that first moment that he had seen the risen Christ, and placed his finger in the hole where the spear pierced his side.

And now, as his captors approached him with a spear that was meant for him—the spear that would, in fact, cause his death in the name of Jesus—the old man Thomas could not help but draw every bit of breath in his lungs, and cry out to all who would hear…”My Lord and my God!”